From July 9, 2020
Alex is having friends over tonight after football practice. He has not been able to hang out with friends at the house much because of the pandemic. After I dropped Alex off at practice, I went to the Hy-Vee on Fort Street to buy some junk food that he had requested for the hangout.
Remembering
As I walked in the store, I remembered a time at this store with Elliot. Elliot worked at another Hy-Vee. He said this store was set up like his store and told Alex and I the layout was thoughtful. Elliot told us certain foods are together because people want them at the same time. People want marshmallows and graham crackers together, so they go in the same aisle. He had all sorts of examples. I cannot remember many of them. I wish I could.
That day, when the three of us went to the store, we were buying junk food too. It was for our first annual Timm Boys Camping Trip. This would be the first hike-in camping trip we had ever done. Camping rations included Oreos, beef jerky, hot dogs, Doritos, and Cheetos. It was something to build on for years to come.
July 9
As I was walking to the register, I looked at the date on my watch; it was the ninth. Elliot, Alex, and I had been at this store exactly one year ago buying supplies for our camping trip. I didn’t know it at the time, but I had been walking through this store buying junk food with both of my boys for the very last time. Tears started to well up in my eyes as I looked at the cashier. He was about Elliot’s age. He rang up the food, around $35.00.
“I’m spending a lot on a bunch of junk,” I said.
“That’s ok,” he said, “sometimes you just want it.”
“My son’s friends are coming over,” I said. “That’s what being young is all about.”
“Yah,” he said.
I felt an emptiness in my chest as I walked outside. Then, tears slowly ran down my cheek until my mask absorbed them. A year ago, I was with my boys. Today, I am alone. Alone and wearing a mask to the grocery store. The mask does not cover my eyes. Does anybody see my tears?
